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Help comes in many ways, and we all try our best to help someone when they’re going through a tough time, even if we’re feeling a lot of stress ourselves. But when we are going through our own pains, whether physical or mental, and we’re trying our best to help someone else, we can, in many ways, end up reliving our own pains. So where does the balance lie?
Reaching Out To Them Is Help
Sometimes, reaching out to someone can hit home if they are going through pain that we are suffering ourselves. But, by reaching out to someone who is going through a tough time, this is the first, and most important, step to offering any sort of solution. When people are in pain themselves, they aren’t that inclined to reach out for support, even though they may need it. So, by reaching out to them, you are telling them, “I am here for you”.
Don’t Focus On Your Own Pain
This could be a stark reminder of the pain you are going through, but it’s so easy for us to turn the situation around and make it about ourselves. This is not what they want to hear, even if they have gone through the exact same thing as you. Whether they’ve had a miscarriage, a motorcycle accident, or they are suffering from a major illness, you never want to hear a never-ending repetition of the words “me”, “myself” and “I”. You’ve got to sit there, and you’ve got to really listen to them. Yes, you may have been through the same thing, but the way to get to the solution isn’t about using your own experiences of the pain as examples. They won’t appreciate it, and they need to find their own way.
Do Not Make Assumptions Or Solutions
People need to find their own way, this is why you can’t offer solutions or make any assumptions. You can certainly provide suggestions, but there is no point forcing them upon the person. And, you may think that you are doing them a wealth of good by offering numerous suggestions and solutions to help them get through the problem quickly, but it’s about making sure they find their own way to the solution. If they’ve been through a devastating situation like a car crash or a motorcycle accident, you may think that the legal route catered for by George Salinas – motorcycle accident lawyer providers could help, but your role in this is to let them come to their own answers in their own time.
And remember, there is no shame in saying nothing, because being there for them emotionally is something they will feel. Yes, you may be in pain, but they are too. And it’s not your opportunity to impart wisdom upon them, and yes, you are going through your own issues, but by being there for someone else, this can help you take your mind off the difficulties you are facing. Helping someone else in pain when you are suffering too can feel very difficult, but everybody needs our help in one way or another.