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This week I have a very special post on the blog – my partner, Miss C, has written an article. I had no idea she was doing it until she sent it to me by email. I felt mixed emotions when I read it: happy because of her kind words; sad because it was hard knowing she’d suffered so much; but proud of myself too for knowing that I can cope with my pain. For the first time I felt strong and resilient knowing that I deal with my pain on a daily basis.
And I’m glad it’s me that suffers every day and not Miss C.
As Alice’s partner, of course I do not need any reminder of just how amazing she is, however today I have a stark reminder! Alice’s pain varies both in source and severity. Often it affects her neck and she suffers badly with days where it is extremely sore. Being the sympathetic partner that I am, my body suddenly decided to be a ‘pain in the neck’… in support, obviously!
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After a couple of days waking up stiff and sore but it easing up a bit later in the day so assuming I had just ‘slept funny’, I awoke on the weekend in agony. I’d had a restless night tossing and turning as I had to lift my entire upper body to turn over as my neck was so sore. Waking up I felt like I could barely turn my head and put off getting out of bed as I didn’t want to face the shooting pain. The entire day I kept thinking Alice deals with this on a daily basis, and telling myself to ‘man up’, it gave me an appreciation for how she deals with things, as on top of the obvious pain I found:
I was knackered
Yes I had the restless night but then just felt drained after a day of holding myself differently, taking it easier to rest it, and in part thinking at least if I was to sleep then I wouldn’t feel the pain.
It was trial and error
I had to try several things to try and relieve the pain to be comfortable enough. Painkillers, massager, heat packs, deep heat, Tiger Balm… through the day I tried anything and everything. Thankfully, Alice had everything available for me to try!
It made me miserable
The constant distraction of the neck pain coupled with a headache made it hard to enjoy the day and pay attention to things.
I was glad to have her there – as partners we look after each other and pick up the slack where needed. The team work meant that we still could go about our day and do the chores as needed, but just a bit slower than normal maybe!
I have the benefit of knowing that as horrible as my pain is right now it should get better soon enough. I just wish it was the same for Alice; I’d take a lifetime of today if I could take the pain away for her.
Anybody who suffers from chronic pain or illness, I take my hat off to you and please take the time to realise how strong and resilient you are every day!
Do you feel strong and resilient knowing you deal with and cope with your chronic pain?
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